It wasGod’s plan after all, right?

My husband lost his job of almost 14 years in January 2017, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time. It was a week before our daughter’s first birthday and we had family coming in from out of town. We powered through with fake smiles and phrases such as, “It’s ok! God has a plan,” and “this just means bigger and better things!”

It wasGod’s plan after all, right?

He decided to take unemployment for a few months and finish his last semester of his bachelor’s degree. Shortly after, he found a job that certainly sounded bigger and better; exactly what we had been praying for. 

It wasGod’s plan after all, right?

Only it wasn’t the right job. Three months in it turned out to not be as promised. No big bonuses, and we were barely scraping by. As his supporting wife I told him that it seemed time him look for another one. Lots of prayers later he found one that was a fit him better. 

It wasGod’s plan after all, right?

Five months later, January 2018 rolls around. This time it was three days before our family was coming in again for our daughter’s second birthday. My husband called me at 10:30 in the morning to let me know he was let go… again. We were devastated. 

This wasn’t my plan. 

I didn’t plan on having our world come to a screeching halt for the second time in a year. I didn’t plan on taking the emotional load of two adults because my husband felt like a failure. I didn’t plan on him being without a job for the next six months. I was still picking up the pieces from last year. 

I was weary, mentally exhausted, and confused. I certainly couldn’t do this again. It would either break me, my marriage, or both. I wasn’t strong enough. (see 2 Chronicles 20:12)  

Sometimes even our best, well intentioned plans just aren’t God’s plans. In the blink of an eye things change, and God expects us to trust in Him. 

It wasn’t easy, and most days were unbelievably hard. But knowing we have a Father who loves us unconditionally, and in return only asks for faith in Him to know what’s best for us was enough to keep me going. 

I’m not sure why my husband and I went through what we did. Some things I can see in hindsight make total sense, others I’m still at a loss. The only thing I’m certain of is this:

As long as I could lean on God, even if I didn’t understand, He would help navigate us through the mess we were in (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

My husband now has an amazing job, and it seems like things are looking up. Because of these crazy life circumstances our marriage is stronger, I am a better mother, and my faith in the LORD has grown deeper.

It wasGod’s plan after all, right?