Ronda – Testimonial

image
Colleen

Ronda’s Testimony

I AM JUST AN ORDINARY WOMAN LIVING AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE.
I AM CONCRETE EVIDENCE THAT THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH.
MY LIFE BEGAN IN THE SUMMER OF 1974.
AND IN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 2-3 THAT’S WHEN MY SEXUAL ABUSE STARTED.
THAT’S ALSO WHEN I BEGAN
A LONG PAINFUL AGONIZING DEATH.
BY 13 I HAD ALREADY BEEN VIOLATED
BY 4 DIFFERENT MEN AND 1 WOMAN.

IT WAS ALSO AT 13 THAT MY CHILDLIKE BODY WAS FORCED TO TRANSFORM INTO A WOMAN’S,
SO THAT IT WOULD BE STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY THE CHILD OF THE MAN WHO HAD BEEN RAPING ME.
AT 14 MY MOTHER MADE THE DECISION TO SADLY CLOSE HER EYES AND WALK AWAY FROM ME.
I ASSUME THAT WAS HER WAY OF COPING FROM THE REALITY THAT SHE NEVER PROTECTED HER OWN DAUGHTER.
ONCE SHE HAD ABANDONED ME
I HAD NO WHERE TO GO.
THAT’S WHEN I STARTED A NEW LIFE AS A HOMELESS,
DRUG ADDICT, ALCOHOLIC.
AND WITH THIS NEW LIFE CAME
MANY MANY MORE VIOLATIONS.

I WAS COMPLETELY DEAD INSIDE.
I HAD NO ONE TO LOVE ME,
NO SELF WORTH, AND NO HOPE.
I HAD NO IDEA WHO I EVEN WAS.
MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD WAS TAKEN FROM ME AS IF I NEVER EVEN MATTERED.
THEN I WAS FORCED TO WANDER AROUND THIS LIFE AS IF I WAS SOME TYPE OF STRAY DOG.

I SPENT YEARS BUILDING A BARBED WIRE PRISON INSIDE MY MIND.
IT WAS MEANT TO KEEP ME SAFE,
BUT IT PLACED ME IN SOLITARY CONFINMENT WITH A LIFE SENTENCE ON DEATH ROW.
I COULDN’T ESCAPE; IT WAS JUST ME AND THE BRUTAL MEMORIES OF MY PAST.
THE SHACKLES OF MY PAIN WERE WRAPPED AROUND MY NECK,
AND IT WAS STRANGLING THE VERY LAST BREATH OF SANITY FROM MY EXISTENCE.

I HAD BEEN TRYING TO LIVE A LIFE IN A MIND THAT BROUGHT NOTHING BUT DEATH.
I STARTED  TO CRY OUT,
“GOD, IF YOU ARE REAL, AND IF YOU TRULY DO SET PEOPLE FREE
PLEASE FREE ME FROM THIS PRISON I CREATED,
FREE ME FROM THE NIGHTMARES OF MY REALITY,
FREE ME FROM THIS DEATH SENTENCE THAT OTHERS HAVE PLACED UPON ME,
FREE ME FROM THE SILENCE THAT I SPEAK.”

HE HEARD MY CRIES
AND HE BREATHED LIFE INTO MY DEAD SOUL.
HE IS NOW TEACHING ME HOW TO FREE MYSELF THROUGH OTHERS,
AND HE IS SHOWING ME THAT THERE’S NOTHING I CAN’T DO WITH HIM.
I AM NO LONGER DEAD I AM ALIVE.

HE HAS TAKEN MY PAIN
AND TOGETHER WE HAVE TURNED IT INTO A PURPOSE,
THE PURPOSE TO GIVE OTHERS STRENGTH,
THE PURPOSE TO GIVE OTHERS HOPE,
AND THE PURPOSE TO GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND JUST MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I HAVE WARRIORS BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH MY VEINS.
I NEVER KNEW I EVEN HAD SUCH STRENGTH.
I SURVIVED 23 YEARS OF CHRONIC ADDICTIONS;
I SURVIVED THE BRUTAL BEATINGS AND THE BROKEN BONES THROUGHOUT THE YEARS;
I SURVIVED SHARING MY SON’S BLOODLINE WITH A CHILD RAPIST.
I SURVIVED WHEN I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO SURVIVE.

I AM NOT JUST SURVIVING
I AM A TRUE SURVIVOR!
I STRETCHED THOSE PRISON BARS APART AND I STEPPED

OUT A FREE WOMAN ON A MISSION TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE,
A DIFFERENCE IN MY OWN LIFE
AND A DIFFERENCE IN OTHERS.

I MADE THE DECISION TO GO BACK INTO THE SAME HELL THAT TOOK MY LIFE;
I LOOKED HELL STRAIGHT IN THE EYES
AND I SNATCHED MY LIFE BACK
AND I SCREAMED OUT
YOU WERE NEVER STRONG ENOUGH
TO TAKE MY LIFE FROM ME!!!!
AND I WALKED UP OUT OF HELL
WITH MY LIFE UNBURNED.

MY WOUNDS THAT ONCE BLED HATRED
ARE NOW SCARS OF FORGIVNESS,
BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO HEAL
NO MATTER THE COST.
I CHOOSE TO LOVE LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN HURT.
I CHOOSE TO TELL MY STORY NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT MAY FEEL,
BECAUSE TELLING MY STORY SETS ME FREE,
FREE TO BE ME,
FREE TO HEAL,
AND FREE TO START A NEW CHAPTER IN THIS THING CALLED LIFE.

THIS IS MY STORY
I GET TO TURN MY NIGHTMARES INTO SWEET DREAMS.
I GET  TO WHOLE HEARTEDLY LOVE MY PRINCE CHARMING,
AND I GET TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
I BELIEVE IN MIRICLES
THAT’S WHY I CAN BECOME ONE
I BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH
AND THAT MY FRIENDS
IS WHY I’M LIVING IT……